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Strong Words For Strong Women

Posted October 9th, 2015 by Lesley Hazleton

A couple of years back, I started referring to my friend Rebecca Brown as “the divine Ms Brown” (as in “the latest piece by the divine Ms Brown…”). Not that I have any desire to worship her – or anyone or anything else for that matter – but her writing definitely touches on the transcendent. The word fit.

robin_seattlemetThen I realized that another friend, contemporary-art curator Robin Held, deserved a better adjective than all the “amazings” and “wonderfuls” constantly used for her. I started thinking of her as “the iconic Ms Held.” That fit too.

I could always stick with the usual words, of course. But when “awesome” is used for everything from the latest video game to a new flavor of ice-cream, it becomes meaningless. There’s no real awe there, just as there’s no real wonder in “wonderful.”

“Amazing” is popular, but seems to indicate surprise that any woman could be strong and intelligent and outspoken.

“Incredible” begs the question.

And as for “courageous” – if it takes courage for a woman to speak her mind and be active in the world (at least in the West), then we’re in worse trouble than I thought.

There’s a whole range of monikers we could use instead of the standard wonderfuls and awesomes and amazings.  I began jotting them down, and found that I could put names of women I know to every one of them. I’m pretty sure you can do the same:

— the badass Ms X

— the incomparable Ms Y

— the unstoppable Ms Z

— the outrageous Ms A

— the formidable Ms B

— the dynamite Ms C

— the fearless Ms D

— the fearsome Ms E

— the notorious Ms F

— the path-breaking Ms G

— the ferocious Ms H

— the inimitable Ms I

— the indomitable Ms J

— the brilliant Ms K

— the magnificent Ms L

— the dynamic Ms M

— the genius known as Ms N

— the epic Ms O

— the mind-blowing Ms P

and this isn’t even the whole of the alphabet.

Some of these tags are stronger, some less so, but you get the idea: We need better accolades for strong, intelligent women. And quit with the weak female-only ones.

Words like “gutsy” don’t cut it — who ever describes a man they admire as gutsy?  “Ballsy?” — oh puh-lease…  “Incredible”? — really, you find it hard to credit?  “Innovative?” — aren’t we all?

So let’s innovate.  No matter what gender you are, feel free to pitch in and share better suggestions in the comments.  And start using them. Liberally.

Think big, think strong, and celebrate strong women with strong language!

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File under: existence, feminism, women | Tagged: Tags: amazing, awesome, courageous, Rebecca Brown, Robin Held | 7 Comments
  1. Francoise Simon says:
    October 9, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    How about the intrepid Ms. F?

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      October 10, 2015 at 9:07 am

      or the intrepid Ms Simon!

  2. Darlene Mitchell says:
    October 9, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    I will use this new approach, Lesley, for the epic women in my life . Brilliant! And in case you hadn’t heard, “There is a New Message from God in the world, and one of the things that it calls for is the emergence of women leaders, particularly in the area of spirituality and religion. It is time now for certain women to be called into these greater roles and responsibilities, and it is important around the world in different quarters and in different religious traditions that this be allowed.”

    http://www.newmessage.org/nm/the-age-of-women/

    It’s been 1400 years, so God is speaking again. It’s about time, isn’t it? I thought you’d like to know. If you read just a few of the revelations, you will find the Mystery and the Gnostic that you are yearning for but haven’t found. Best to you.

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      October 10, 2015 at 9:06 am

      Yes, we need women to step up to being bishops and archbishops and ayatollahs and chief rabbis and all. But really, no mystic yearning going on in my head (or my body either). Being agnostic means that I’m not seeking or searching for anything. I simply explore, with both delight and bemusement. More in Agnostic: A Spirited Manifesto, due out in April. — L.

  3. Catherine Hiller says:
    October 10, 2015 at 10:22 am

    The indomitable Lesley Hazleton!

  4. lynnrosengiordano says:
    October 10, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    The irreplaceable Ms H. Stay strong, as is your wont.

  5. Huw Price says:
    October 12, 2015 at 9:12 am

    the forthright Ms Hazleton perhaps?

The A-Words

Posted August 26th, 2015 by Lesley Hazleton

a-word2They’re the two fall-back adjectives of the moment: awesome and amazing. I think of them as the new A-words. And if the world were full of people in a state of awe and amazement, I’d be fine with them. But it’s not.

I risk being totally ungracious here, since both words have been used on occasion with reference to me. I am grateful for the compliments, but really, I hardly inspire awe – at least I hope I don’t, since awe is as much terror as exhilaration. And I see nothing amazing in what I do, which consists of reading, thinking, writing, and speaking out. My problem is that however well-intended such compliments may be, both “awesome” and “amazing” have been so corrupted by over-use that there’s next to nothing either awesome or amazing left in them.

“Awesome” has spread so far up the age range from its origins in teen-speech that I find it hard to understand why newly minted teens still revert to it. When a freshly purchased pair of sandals or a new ice-cream flavor is called awesome, the word is worth about as much as the price of the cone the ice-cream’s served in. It has nothing to do with real awe — a state of being the speaker has clearly never experienced.

As for “amazing,” consider the way it’s said — in a tone of voice that no longer contains any hint of amazement, and with a downward inflection so that the speaker might just as well be saying “depressing.” This fake amazement has become an automatic response, in much the same realm as “Have a good day.”

I tested it not long ago at a gathering of well-connected millennials who prided themselves on what they took to be unconventional thinking, and whose standard conversation-starter was the utterly conventional “Where are you from?” At first I said Seattle, and this was deemed amazing, as though it were a surprise that anyone could possibly live in such a place. Then, just to check, I began to give other answers. Des Moines, I said. Or Detroit. Or – why not push it? – Dubai. And each answer got the same glassy-eyed response: that un-amazed “amazing.”

Scroll through the click-bait headlines of such sites as Gawker or Buzzfeed or The Huffington Post and you’ll find the A-words used ad nauseam (note to self: does ad nauseam count as an A-word?).  Playful bear cubs and science breakthroughs, inspirational talks and dumb pratfalls, see-through dresses and stars exploding in outer space — all are mashed together in a mini-tsunami of awesomeness, amazement, astonishment, astoundingness. The A-list, I guess.

In the face of so much amazement and awe, I find myself gasping for space in which to breathe, let alone think. I’d say let’s avoid the meaningless use of such words, but the go-to impulse remains strong, and I’m sure I’ll keep using them just like everyone else.

But I hope to stay faithful to my favorite A-word: absurd. And – how could I forget? – accidental.

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File under: absurd, agnosticism, existence | Tagged: Tags: amazement, amazing, astonishing, astounding, awe, click bait, overuse | 11 Comments
  1. markb1351 says:
    August 26, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    Amen! 🙂

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      August 26, 2015 at 3:08 pm

      Love it!

  2. iobserveall says:
    August 26, 2015 at 1:26 pm

    The wrong use of these words grates on my nerves too.

  3. Carol Ann Bernheim says:
    August 26, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    what is a ‘millennial’??

  4. Sohail Kizilbash says:
    August 26, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    I am glad you wrote this. I am amazed that even educated adults have started using these word.

  5. amin tan says:
    August 26, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    Dear Lesley Hazleton,
    Clearly you have a superior understanding and command of the English language. Your flair in English and sincerity and clarity in expressing your thoughts make you a good author. That is my sincere opinion. Please don’t say I am a sycophant.

    amin tan

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      August 26, 2015 at 5:05 pm

      Oh go ahead, just call me amazing…

  6. Nuzhat says:
    August 26, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    To add to the endless ‘a’,s….the common one in India is “aura”, relating to spiritual presence of a person…..all ‘god men’ having their own degrees of so-called ‘aura’…aargh!

    Nuzhat.

  7. Janine vanigasooriya says:
    August 26, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    Hear hear! (That’s from our colonial past!) going to read this to all those ‘amazing’ children in my school, and of course to all my ‘awesome’ teenage nephews and nieces!!

    Janine

  8. susan weirauch says:
    August 27, 2015 at 10:47 am

    Love it. I’m guilty of having said “awesome” (I’m 61!) and will henceforth bite my tongue. You, however, are an articulate, amusing, and astute author.

  9. Justine says:
    September 13, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    In addition, these people who constantly use the word ‘amazing’ actually pronounce it, ‘amazeen’. (Which is super ANNOYING.)

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