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Speaking Out

Posted December 18th, 2015 by Lesley Hazleton

Sometimes you have the privilege of getting to say the right thing at the right time, as with this nine-minute talk I gave the other night to a hugely supportive audience of Christians and Muslims at Trinity Lutheran Church in Lynnwood, WA.  The event was called “Love in a Time of Fear,” but I wasn’t afraid, I was angry, and I said so:

 

[youtube=https://youtu.be/RhKDsdIeeHo]

Full video of the evening is here, with special thanks to Terry Kyllo of Catacomb Churches and to Jeff Siddiqui for bringing it all together, and to the excellent work of Lutheran Community Services Northwest in support of Syrian refugees.

 

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File under: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, ugliness, US politics | Tagged: Tags: abortion, Black Lives Matter, Colorado Springs, Donald Trump, gay marriage, Hitler, Martin Niemoller, neo-fascism, New York Daily News, Planned Parenthood, Republican party, San Bernardino, Ted Cruz | 3 Comments
  1. Mary Johnson says:
    December 18, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    Thank you, Lesley. This is SO important, and so well said.

    You might be interested in this, from my sister Margaret, who converted to Islam before the birth of her first child and is trying to raise a Muslim family in the US: https://medium.com/@coexistmarge/this-time-it-s-different-c0c70fd2db3f#.yo8zgn6nj

    Hoping you are well. Thankful you are angry.

    Mary

    >

  2. Nuzhat says:
    December 18, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    Every voice raised is a step towards correction. There may be enough laid back listeners, but being a part of the vocal band is being more responsible, and important in awakening the sense of direction the listeners can take.
    You always hit the mark with even few words said, Lesley….
    well spoken!
    Nuzhat.

  3. Frederick Osman says:
    December 19, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    Thank you, Lesley. Wonderful, as usual.

A Hard Choice? Really?

Posted October 1st, 2015 by Lesley Hazleton

The right-wing is trying like hell to do a number on the minds of American women. You know that thing about abortion being the hardest choice a woman will ever have to make, or the one she most regrets? Bullshit.

90_percentIn fact 90% of all American women who’ve had an abortion are either glad or simply relieved they did (click here for the research.)  And for every woman I know who’s had an abortion (that’s half the women I know, and quite possibly half the women you know too), a safe, routine, minimally invasive procedure was far from the hardest decision of their lives. For many, like me, it was the simple, sane choice. The only hard part was finding the money to pay for it.

You want a hard decision? What about marriage? Or divorce? Taking on a mortgage? Choosing a cancer treatment? Allowing a terminally ill spouse to die with dignity? What about the multitude of hard decisions we all have to make in the course of our lives, men and women?

But right-wingers don’t think women capable of rational decision-making at all.  It’s apparently especially hard for us delicate souls, which is presumably why they think we agonize over it and decide wrong.  How very Victorian of them. They’re apparently white knights in shining armor, out to save every woman from her own distressingly poor judgment.  In their ideal world, no woman would be “allowed” to make a decision without prior permission from the Republican caucus.  Certainly not any woman with an income under a million a year.

But it’s not our decision-making that stinks, it’s theirs.  Because not only is it morally and ethically bankrupt, it’s full of lies — deliberate lies.

— Like Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina pretending to be near tears as she talked about watching a video that didn’t exist and never had.

— Or the head of the House Oversight Committee trying to play gotcha with the head of Planned Parenthood by using a bogus chart created by an anti-abortion group.

— Or abortion opponents pretending there’s no such thing as an embryo.  They’d have us think that every abortion is that of a full-term viable fetus, when none are.  The vast majority of abortions are embryonic, medically defined as up to eight weeks from conception.  But hey, you can’t see an embryo on a sonogram, let alone wave photographs of it in an attempt to guilt-trip women.  So lie, baby, lie — and screw the lives you mess up in the process.

It’s clear by now that nobody cares about facts in the fantasy world of today’s Republicans.  Real facts, that is, as opposed to imaginary ones.

Those of us who live in the real world know for a fact that imaginary facts are dangerous.  Remember those non-existent weapons of mass destruction used as the reason to invade Iraq?  Or those non-existent scientists asserting with great authority that there was no such thing as climate change?

Forget hard decisions for the moment.  Here’s an easy one:  A year from now, do all you can to make sure we send this gang of women-hating, war-mongering, planet-polluting liars back to whatever slime pit they crawled out of.

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File under: feminism, US politics, war, women | Tagged: Tags: abortion, Carly Fiorina, embryo, imaginary facts, Planned Parenthood, Republicans | 7 Comments
  1. Amna says:
    October 1, 2015 at 11:36 am

    Right on Lesley!
    But I am afraid that this whole country is blinded with madness and hatred and stepping away from humanity, humility and humanitarianism …The way things are going we could have the republican president representing this country next year and that will be the beginning of dark ages,once again… All my reasons for coming to this country in hope of finding equality, prosperity and freedom will be wiped away… there is less and less concern in this country for minorities, women and suffering of people in other parts of the world. America will turn the corner for worse and will never be the same….

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      October 1, 2015 at 12:00 pm

      Not the whole country, Amna. Nowhere near. But a warning that we can never take sanity and progress for granted. We always need to stand up and be counted, speak out, and call the bluff of ignorance and bigotry. Each in our own small way.
      Here’s Margaret Mead: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it’s the only thing that ever has.”

  2. jveeds says:
    October 1, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    Not to change the subject…well, OK, to change the subject…do you have any thoughts on the Pope’s personal audience with the Kentucky county clerk, Kim Davis? I read Andy Borowitz’s satire on it and thought he was making that part up. But it really happened. But the weird thing is, no one from the Pontiff’s team seems to be willing to say why the abominable Davis was invited, what they talked about and there’s even some speculation that the Heir to the Chair wasn’t entirely aware that the meeting was being set up. That’s pretty hard to believe and maybe by the time you get to pontificalizing on this yourself we’ll have more info.

    But in the meantime, I’d love to get your take on this. Maybe His Petership was calling her in to say “STFU,” albeit in more popely terms.

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      October 2, 2015 at 9:40 am

      Oh yes, it’s a weird kind of fun to watch Vatican spokesmen trying to spin this! The rationalizations are fascinatingly torturous. Yesterday: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/01/us/pope-francis-kim-davis-kentucky-clerk-washington-same-sex-marriage.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=second-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0 and then today: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/03/world/europe/pope-francis-kim-davis-meeting.html
      Me? No pontif(f)icating for now. I’m just continually amazed at the screwed-up stance of orthodox religion on anything to do with sex (viz abortion, women clergy, gay marriage, contraception, priestly celibacy, pederasty).

  3. jveeds says:
    October 2, 2015 at 10:41 am

    Either way, I’d say this was a monumental failure of the Pope and his handlers, an epic miscue whereby either the Pope was under-informed, or misled, or simply had no conception of the political implications of having this notorious and divisive evangelical yahoo anywhere near his midst.

    It’s hard to believe that the papal PR machine allowed this to happen. In my view, it spoils much of the goodwill that the entire visit to America had gathered. So so sooooo stupid to let something this obviously misguided to happen.

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      October 2, 2015 at 11:10 am

      Agreed. A ton of secular goodwill went out the door the moment Kim Davis entered it. Or maybe it was just a sudden jolt of reality.

  4. chakaoc says:
    October 9, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    Go, Lesley – morons and liars all. Their investigation into PP found nothing but there will be no exoneration because….well, it served their purpose. The slime pit beckons – hope they heed the call.

Who’s Really Pro-Life?

Posted September 10th, 2015 by Lesley Hazleton

How have we allowed this to happen? How have we allowed anti-abortion activists to call themselves pro-life? How have we not called them out, loud and clear, on this Orwellian double-speak?

Many of those against abortion are the same right-wingers who want to nuke the hell out of Iran or any other designated enemy of the day; who support the death penalty no matter how many death-row inmates have been proven innocent; who obstruct all attempts at gun control even when kindergarten kids are massacred; who see nothing wrong about cops shooting unarmed black men in the back. But a single fertilized egg inside a woman’s uterus? Suddenly, that’s sacred.

They’re not pro-life. I am. And Planned Parenthood is. And NARAL, the National Abortion Rights Action League, is. Because nobody here is advocating for abortion per se; what we’re for is the right to have one. For motherhood to be a matter of choice, not compulsion. And for a child’s right to come into the world wanted and welcomed. What we’re for, in short, is life. Not life in the abstract, but real life, as it is lived.

What we’re for is not more but fewer abortions. And the way to achieve that is clear: sex education in schools, and freely available contraception for women. Yet the anti-abortion crowd is against both. Which means that all they ensure is that there’ll be more abortions.

no-more-coat-hangersThe historical record is clear: women have always aborted pregnancies, whether with herbs, with knitting needles, or with wire coat-hangers in back-street abortions such as the one that nearly killed a close friend when I was a student. So now that abortion is safe – a minor medical procedure – the anti-abortion crowd are doing everything they can to make it dangerous again: to make the woman pay for having the gall to be sexual, and to make the unwanted child pay too.

If a woman chooses to carry a pregnancy to term and then give the child up for adoption, I totally support her choice. But it is cruel and punitive to force her to do so. It is downright obscene to insist that a rape victim carry her rapist’s child. And to make a woman give birth to a severely disabled child doomed to die in pain within hours, weeks, or months is nothing less than torture, of both mother and child.

This isn’t about the Bible or the Quran. It’s about punishment, about a basic attitude of life negation, of harshness and joylessness. It isn’t pro-life; it’s anti-life.

If its advocates weren’t causing so much misery and suffering, I might even find it in myself to feel sorry for them.

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File under: existence, feminism, US politics, women | Tagged: Tags: abortion, contraception, double-speak, Naral, Planned Parenthood, pro-life, sex education | 11 Comments
  1. iobserveall says:
    September 10, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    I agree with every word you wrote.

  2. avasterlingauthor says:
    September 10, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    I agree with some things you say, but you do use a pretty broad brush toward your opposition to further your point. ; )

  3. Mary Waechter says:
    September 10, 2015 at 11:31 pm

    Very well put. I agree 100%!

  4. Fran Love says:
    September 11, 2015 at 8:29 am

    Lesley, you’ve covered all the issues perfectly. I wish I could have said it as well as you did. Other than posting here at your blog, have you published this article anywhere else?

    I know I could send this to a few of my friends via Facebook, but it wouldn’t get the coverage it deserves. I also realize there will be plenty of opposition to your statements, but they have to be said. We have to keep speaking out, especially because of the opposition. Thank you.

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      September 11, 2015 at 8:38 am

      Thanks, Fran — and of course share on FB, and urge others to share. That can be enormously effective in spreading ideas. — L.

  5. Amin Tan says:
    September 11, 2015 at 10:13 am

    Dear Lesley Hazleton,
    You have said it all. I concur absolutely. Some people are so dogmatic about opposing abortion regardless of undesirable circumstances like rape, poverty, young and immature age, broken or mistaken relationship and so on. One must have basic common sense in life.

  6. Justine says:
    September 13, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    Would you mind if I linked to this from an opposing viewpoint?

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      September 16, 2015 at 10:39 am

      The blog is in the public domain, Justine, so of course feel free to do so. I will read with interest.– L.

  7. Tea-mahm says:
    September 14, 2015 at 9:02 am

    Lesley, this is it. Lets get every news agency to carry your message.
    I’m cheering for your words. Thank you, Tamam

  8. Joan says:
    September 14, 2015 at 9:18 am

    Agreed on all points. And I’d like to add another. The same people who are anti-abortion want to drastically reduce the social support system that helps care for the children (and parents) they insist should follow through with unwanted pregnancies, including the organizations that help prevent those pregnancies in the first place (e.g., Planned Parenthood).

  9. Denise Kaufman says:
    September 15, 2015 at 12:12 am

    I’ve said for a long time that we’ve let the other side define the terms. How did we let them co-opt the term “pro-life”? At the very least, we are all pro-life. I personally think that proof of “pro-life” includes supporting universal health care and early childhood education for all children. Many people are pro-birth but anti-childhood? We are pro-choice and they are anti-choice. Some new terms are needed!!

My Abortion

Posted August 27th, 2015 by Lesley Hazleton

Planned_Parenthood_busNearly every woman I know has either had an abortion or helped another woman get one. I know this because as the Republican attack on Planned Parenthood ramps up, I’ve been asking. Old and young, black and white and brown, married and single, straight and gay, religious and irreligious – women have been telling me their abortion stories.

But I think we need to tell them publicly too. To break the weird veil of shame and secrecy that still hangs over the decision, even when abortion is legal. To stand up and say “Yes, sure, I had one.”

So here’s the story of mine.

I was 20 years old – young and dumb, as every 20-year-old has every right to be. Not that dumb, though, since I was using a diaphragm thanks to the Marie Stopes clinic, the one place in the whole of England at the time that would provide contraception to an unmarried 17-year-old.  And the diaphragm worked fine until my first summer in Jerusalem, when it didn’t. Not because of any fault in the device, but because I hadn’t put it in. Carried away, late in my menstrual cycle, I’d said “Come on, it’s okay.” And three weeks later, realized it wasn’t.

There was no doubt in my mind what I needed to do. The guy I was with was a no-goodnik, the result of a bad case of delayed teenage rebellion on my part. I had an undergraduate degree in psychology but no idea what I wanted to do next, only that since I could barely handle myself, no way could I handle a baby. But abortion was still illegal in Israel. And I was dead broke.

I found my way to the Jerusalem branch of an aid organization for Brits – a single room with a single occupant, who took one look at me as I stood miserably in the doorway and before I could open my mouth said “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

I nodded yes.

“And you need an abortion.”

Another nod.

“And you don‘t know where to go.”

Again, a nod.

“And you don’t have any money.”

At the final nod, she said “Sit down,” and made three phone calls: one for an appointment with a leading gynecologist who didn’t believe in forcing women to have children; one to her HQ to get approval for a loan to pay his fee; and one to a publishing house to get me a job as a copy-editor so that I could pay back the loan.

We have been firm friends ever since.

The procedure itself was a non-event. (The doctor gave me a prescription for the pill and said he hoped to never see me again, though in fact he did, but not with me as the patient – he ran a maternity clinic, and was the obstetrician for three of my friends as I helped with their labor.) I parted ways with the no-goodnik, and set about the never-ending process of growing up.

And now, almost half a century later? No regrets. Quite the contrary, since I suspect this was the one rational decision I made the whole of that year. In short: thank god I had an abortion.

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File under: feminism, US politics, women | Tagged: Tags: abortion rights, contraception, Marie Stopes, Planned Parenthood | 31 Comments
  1. rachel Cowan says:
    August 27, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    I agree Lesley that we should be telling these stories. AS you say, we all, myself included, have had one or have helped a friend, or both. But where to tell them? How to publicize them in some impactful way? The impact of undocumented young people telling there stories was important in opening up the immigration debate. Does anybody know somebody who is organizing this?

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      August 27, 2015 at 1:10 pm

      Looks like I’m organizing an event at Town Hall in Seattle, with thirty women speaking two minutes each, telling their own stories. Alas not until January.
      Wouldn’t it be great if there was a “speak-out day” nationwide with women doing the same?!

      • rachel Cowan says:
        August 27, 2015 at 1:17 pm

        That is great Lesley. Have you posted this on FB? Want me to as well?

        • Lesley Hazleton says:
          August 27, 2015 at 1:46 pm

          Want to get a firm date first, but after that — surely!

          • Lesley Hazleton says:
            August 27, 2015 at 1:47 pm

            But re a “speak-out day” — go right ahead! Thanks.

      • Athena Nation says:
        September 2, 2015 at 3:09 am

        Count me in.
        I’ll tell my story.
        And, well, I’m already in Seattle.

        athenanation1308@gmail.com

  2. Nancy McClelland says:
    August 27, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    Incredibly touching story, and thank goodness those adults were there to provide help in your otherwise isolating situation. I also love that they got you a job to pay back the loan. And how wonderful to hear that you’re still friends with the counselor, and that you had continued interaction with the OB after that. Thank you so much for sharing.

  3. Justine says:
    August 27, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    I’m sorry to hear your stories, I am a different kind of person, I urged someone very close to me not to get an abortion, to instead consider adoption. Thank goodness she didn’t go through with it. I can’t imagine the emotional turmoil that would take place if you were truly honest about what sort of ‘procedure’ you and your friends are so nonchalantly discussing.

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      August 27, 2015 at 1:51 pm

      Nothing at all nonchalant about it, Justine. And you’re making unwarranted assumptions. Some women do go through emotional turmoil; some, like me, don’t.
      Further, I don’t know how many adoptees you know, but those I know are haunted by the idea that they were “given up” at birth. Maybe it’s you who are being nonchalant.

      • Justine says:
        August 27, 2015 at 8:24 pm

        I didn’t mean to misread your tone. I do realize that many people have been adopted have questions throughout their life, but I would ask you if you feel that the possibility that a child or grown adult may feel ‘abandoned’ at times is reason enough to not give them a chance at life.

        • Lesley Hazleton says:
          August 28, 2015 at 9:24 am

          I hear you, Justine, but would ask you to consider what it’s like to come into the world unwanted. And what it’s like to carry a child to term and then let it go. The emotional damage I have seen done to both mother and child is enormous.
          I truly cannot imagine the pain of knowing that if I had not had that abortion and had opted instead for adoption, my child would have been a stranger among strangers, and would have asked all his or her life why I had abandoned him or her. Or to live my own life with no idea whether the child had been delivered to a good home or, as too often happens, a bad one.
          We’re talking here about a very private decision that has been cynically politicized for electoral purposes, and because making your private life public is a hard thing to do for those unused to being in the public eye, I have enormous respect for those women willing to do it.

          • Justine says:
            August 29, 2015 at 10:10 pm

            I guess I just don’t understand why the best alternative to any of the POSSIBLE outcomes that you might perceive as being negative to the child is the death of the child before it has a chance to experience life. I think the most innocent beings in our society need to be protected. And there are great options, like open adoption, where the baby wouldn’t have to be a stranger. Thanks for hearing me out!

          • Lesley Hazleton says:
            August 30, 2015 at 5:56 pm

            I know I can’t convince you, Justine; you are deeply committed to your stance. But your comments do make me think further on this subject, to the effect that this divide between pro-choice and pro-life is an entirely artificial one — a meme dreamed up by dogmatists. I am pro-choice precisely because I am pro-life. That is, pro-choice IS pro-life. I’ll write a post on this in the coming week, and thank you for prompting me to do so. — L.

  4. caitlin says:
    August 27, 2015 at 6:30 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. We need a world where people feel comfortable sharing such stories, rather than shamed for making the best decision for themselves.

  5. nasir khanzada says:
    August 27, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    The Torah and the Quran strictly forbids this. We shud discourage rather than encourage and publisize this!

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      August 28, 2015 at 9:06 am

      “We”? Speak for yourself, please, not for everyone else.

    • Jafar Siddiqui says:
      September 2, 2015 at 1:51 pm

      Would you please cite the actual verses where abortion is strictly forbidden in the Quran? I need some enlightenment.

      • Lesley Hazleton says:
        September 2, 2015 at 2:03 pm

        I’m curious as to where it could possibly be in the Torah, also.

  6. amin tan says:
    August 28, 2015 at 3:41 am

    Dear Lesley Hazleton,
    Your story is a lesson that must be broadcasted world wide for the benefits of unwed mothers and those in similar predicament. This is the universal problem encountered by young people in a relationship. We need sensible solution to a potentially devastating turmoil in the life of a young person. Thank you for sharing your life experience with us, even though it was very personal and a long time ago involving ‘nogoodnik’.

    amin tan

  7. lynnrosengiordano says:
    August 29, 2015 at 1:25 am

    Leslie,
    Anything against sharing this with my local Planned Parenthood Director, Linda McCarthy? She’s a mensch who would be so behind a “speak out” date and there are many others I know of who feel that this would make a dent. We’ve often spoken of it in exactly these terms. It would be smart to co-ordinate events.
    I know I’m being a political engineer here, but your story is so many’s and they all need to be “packaged” for the greater good. This nonsense has to stop.
    Love you – really.
    Lynn

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      August 29, 2015 at 11:10 am

      Of course share, Lynn! Thank you. Happy to pool efforts. — L.

  8. jveeds says:
    August 31, 2015 at 11:04 am

    I’m becoming more and more inclined to get rid of the loaded terms “pro-choice” (or “choice”) and “pro-life”(as Lesley perhaps begins to hint at). I understand that there is a cultural context in which the terms arose but I believe they are ready to be retired as being no longer of any descriptive or argumentative value — they’re simply dog-whistle terms for staking out a position. “Pro-life” is particularly galling since it would seem to be all-inclusive. If you’re really pro-life you should be against all wars and all guns as well as capital punishment…and not just against “some” wars or instances of what some would call justifiable homicide like an armed home intrusion. If you’re really “pro-life” then all life should be sanctified beyond quibbling about exceptions. Unfortunately, that leaves us with the somewhat distasteful (to some) but accurate term: “abortion.” Of course, “pro-choice” does not exactly equate to “pro-abortion” so there’s at least a semblance of rationality to that term. No one’s across-the-board in favor of abortion in all situations; it’s really a question of having the choice. But presumably we couldn’t leave pro-choice alone and ban pro-life…so both have to go.

  9. Lesley Hazleton says:
    September 2, 2015 at 11:44 am

    Great, Athena! Plans are afoot. Will keep you in the loop. — L.
    (and congrats on your return to writing — gutsy and good.)

  10. jafar siddiqui says:
    September 2, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Nobody has the right to dictate what a person (man or woman) may do with their body, especially not in forcing a woman to have child she does not want. “Adoption not Abortion” has a good marketing ring to it but it ignores the fact that the woman is being forced to nine months of unwanted pregnancy, limiting or destroying her career and a lifelong guilt of having and then giving up a baby that is now “out there”.
    To be sure, there are many people who were adopted and who turned out to be wonderful people, but that argument is tangantial and irrelevant; it is STILL the woman’s choice to make and only hers. — Penjihad.wordpress.com

  11. Marissa says:
    September 21, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    I’m in Seattle, and will gladly tell my story of both of my abortions.

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      September 28, 2015 at 10:30 am

      Thanks Marissa — we’ll be moving ahead in October, and will let you know when and where as soon as we have it finalized. — L.

  12. Shelly says:
    September 21, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    My story is probably not the “type” of story you are looking for, but I still feel it is an important story to tell. I was pressured into an abortion by my partner and it was a very traumatic experience. I still haven’t gotten over the anger I feel for not standing up for myself and my feelings. That being said, I still support all women making the choice for themselves. This is a deeply personal choice that can’t be made by anyone other than the pregnant women.

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      September 28, 2015 at 10:28 am

      Thank you Shelly — and I totally agree that yours is as important a story to tell as all the others. This is what we need: women refusing to be cowed and intimidated, and making their own choices. I deeply regret your regret, and as deeply appreciate your support of all women having the freedom and the self-respect to choose for themselves.

  13. Carolyne Wright says:
    October 11, 2015 at 3:53 am

    Please let me know about the Seattle event for this. Thanks so much!

  14. npear says:
    January 18, 2016 at 2:25 am

    Thankyou for writing about this. Although I admit I was disheartened the way your story ended. Not at all because I disapprove, but why is it that of all the (few) stories that women share about their abortion experience it typically ends with a “yes it was the right decision and I’m glad I did it”. Well what if its not the right decision? What if, you thought you were ready for a family but you’re marriage imploded at the same time that you found out you were pregnant, like I did three years ago?
    And while there was a such a strong and powerful feeling that you could do this on your own and you loved this child enough to see it through, you were overcome by the sudden, terrifying notion you were going to be a single mum and you couldn’t bear that the man that helped you conceive would be the father. For many, many reasons I didn’t / couldn’t live with this. So I had an abortion and I regret it. There I said it. One year of therapy and I still regret, feel tremendous guilt and sadness over my decision. Maybe one year was not enough or maybe its just something that I just have to learn to live with and accept.

    So can we please open up the conversation to all women and all experiences? I’ve considered whether the weight of my guilt is in part because of how I might be perceived for having done what I did and for feeling what I feel. Surely I am not the only women in the entirety of human history that has been through this and feels this same way? It would be nice to know that I’m not! And perhaps through sharing stories if will take some of the fear and loneliness out of such experiences.

    Thankyou again for sharing your story Lesley. People like you and the books you write restore my faith and love for humanity.

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      January 18, 2016 at 11:33 am

      And thank you for your story too, which must have been very difficult to write. The sadness I totally understand, even if I experienced none myself; but as I see it, you have nothing to be guilty about. You sound as though as you are still grieving, and if this is so, then it seems to me that you are grieving less for the child that might have been than for the marriage that broke up — the marriage that you hoped for, that might and should have been, and that was not. Here’s what I wish for you, then: to begin looking forward instead of back, towards a good, committed, loving partner with whom you will become pregnant again, and fully share in parenthood. In hope — Lesley

“Do You See Religion on my Chest?”

Posted February 5th, 2012 by Lesley Hazleton

Am running this because this woman is dynamite.  Am running it because I so admire her dignity and guts and warmth and honesty.  Am running it because after seeing this video, I am in love with her.

It’s a superb response to the whole miserable outing of the Susan G. Komen Foundation (the pink ribbons and pink teddy bears breast-cancer-cure people)  as patently anti-women.  Komen’s directors revealed the astonishing scope of their hypocrisy (and fraud) when they decided to defund Planned Parenthood’s breast-cancer screening — a decision made for clearly right-wing religious-political reasons.   Under the pressure of public disgust, they have since said they’ve reversed their decision — but for this year only.)

“Do you see religion on my chest?” Linda asks in  this video.  “Do you see politics on my chest?”   And she concludes with the perfect last line.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/2ZwpSwm_4as]

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File under: Christianity, sanity, women | Tagged: Tags: breast cancer, Planned Parenthood, Susan G. Komen Foundation | 1 Comment
  1. Catherine Fransson says:
    February 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    You go, Girl!

Entitle Your Uterus!

Posted April 7th, 2011 by Lesley Hazleton

A brilliant stroke of agitprop from the Florida ACLU:

Why?  Because “when a corporation has more protections than a woman, the best way to keep lawmakers out of your business is to be your own business.”

And why the Florida ACLU?  Because the Florida statehouse is where representative Scott Randolph was reprimanded last week for using the word ‘uterus.’  Here’s what he said:

Republicans are always talking about deregulation and big government. But I say their philosophy is small government for the big guy and big government for the little guy. And so, if my wife’s uterus was incorporated or my friend’s bedroom was incorporated, maybe the Republicans would be talking about deregulating.

The reasoning behind the incorporate-your-uterus movement?  Since the Supreme Court ruled last year that corporations have the rights of individuals in financing political campaigns, so individuals should have the rights of corporations.  Especially when it comes to something that’s already literally incorporated — i.e. part of the body.   It’s time to make the physical legal.

So:

Protect your uterus from government interference like the conservative attempt to defund Planned Parenthood and to place further restrictions on abortion rights.

Protect its civil rights!

Entitle it!

Incorporate it!

——————

(Coming soon, says ACLU Florida head Howard Simon:  honorary incorporation for the 50% of us who seem to have missed out on a uterus.)

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File under: feminism, US politics | Tagged: Tags: abortion rights, ACLU, Florida, Howard Simon, incorporation, Planned Parenthood, Scott Randolph, uterus | Be the First to leave a comment

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