Blog


About


Books

 Latest Post: Flash!

Agnostic
A Spirited Manifesto
Available April 4, 2016

   Who is the AT?   Books by LH
  • Agnostic

  • The First Muslim

  • After The Prophet

  • Jezebel

  • Mary

  • More from LH

     

Vatican Logic

Posted July 22nd, 2010 by Lesley Hazleton

Oh the hidden wisdom!   At first I thought The Vatican’s equating women priests with pedophile priests beneath contempt and literally too absurd for words.  But I’ve since been analyzing it logically — doubtless under the influence of a day spent reading Plato’s ‘Republic’ in the sun —  and have come to see the true sophistication of it.    This is really the Vatican way of saying that maybe women priests wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.

The logic that has eluded pundits so far:

It all comes down to how you define ‘grave.’   Pedophilia is not grave enough to call in the cops, for instance,  nor grave enough to impose any serious penalties (or in most cases any penalties at all).    In fact, as sin goes, the Vatican places it on the same level of gravity as ordaining women as priests.   The ineluctable conclusion:   if pedophile priests are not that awful in the eyes of the Church, then women priests would not be so awful either.   Just as pedophilia has found acceptability within the Vatican, so too, despite all appearances to the contrary, has the idea of women priests.

The Vatican has defended this admirably progressive position with its usual finesse, pointing out that not all grave sins are the same (an impeccably logical stand, or the plural noun would not be required), and that some grave sins might be a tad graver than others.  The precise size of that tad is yet to be determined, the science of tadology being so advanced as to require an inordinate number of advanced theological degrees and ordinate centuries of study.

While I’m in the frame of mind for  Vatican logic (thanks again, my sunny friend Plato), it must also be said that the Church’s opposition to the idea of priests marrying has, as it were, its virtues.   While would-be reformers maintain that celibacy is a major part of the pedophile-priest problem,  as though marriage, in an oddly Victorian way, would provide a “natural outlet” for “urges,”  the Church, in its wisdom, perceives the truth:   Marriage not only provides a mask for pedophiles, but also creates the temptation — witness the dismaying numbers of non-priests who abuse their own children and step-children.  Such grave sins (presumably, since family members are concerned, on the tad graver side of gravity) could clearly not be tolerated by any self-respecting church, and the Vatican has thus no option but to rise to the defense of the hypothetical abused children of hypothetically married priests by standing firm on celibacy.

And you doubted the blessings of the Ratzinger papacy — oh ye of little faith.

Share this post:  Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail
File under: Christianity, feminism | Tagged: Tags: celibacy, grave sin, pedophiles, Plato's Republic, priests, Ratzinger, Roman Catholic, Vatican, women | 5 Comments
  1. Nancy McClelland says:
    July 22, 2010 at 11:55 am

    Now, Ms. Hazleton — if I didn’t know better, I’d suggest that your posting were a “tad” bit sarcastic… the precise size of that “tad”, I’m not sure, as I do not possess the advanced degrees or centuries of study it might entail to determine such measures.

  2. charlotte gerlings says:
    July 23, 2010 at 2:57 am

    Watch out for the unbeatable two-for-one offer from Vatco: marry a priest and become a woman priest automatically. Don’t know what you’d call yourself though – Mrs Father? Fatheress?

    • Lesley Hazleton says:
      July 23, 2010 at 9:56 am

      Fatherella?

      • charlotte gerlings says:
        July 23, 2010 at 3:21 pm

        Oh yes! Perfect!

  3. anne traver says:
    July 23, 2010 at 8:31 am

    That’s exactly how I read the announcement — ah, so the church is going to lighten up its position on women as priests!

Order the Book

Available online from:
  • Amazon.com
  • Barnes & Noble
  • IndieBound
  • Powell's
Or from your favorite bookseller.

Tag Cloud

absurd agnosticism art atheism Buddhism Christianity ecology existence feminism fundamentalism Islam Judaism light Middle East sanity technology ugliness US politics war women

Recent Posts

  • Flash! September 1, 2019
  • “What’s Wrong With Dying?” February 9, 2017
  • The Poem That Stopped Me Crying December 30, 2016
  • Talking About Soul at TED December 5, 2016
  • ‘Healing’? No Way. November 10, 2016
  • Psychopath, Defined August 2, 2016
  • Lovely NYT Review of ‘Agnostic’! July 14, 2016
  • Playing With Stillness June 22, 2016
  • Inside Palestine June 20, 2016
  • Virtual Unreality June 6, 2016
  • The Free-Speech Challenge May 23, 2016
  • Category-Free April 20, 2016
  • Staring At The Void April 13, 2016
  • Sherlock And Me April 3, 2016
  • Hard-Wired? Really? March 22, 2016
  • A Quantum Novel March 9, 2016
  • This Pre-Order Thing March 4, 2016
  • The Agnostic Celebration February 29, 2016
  • The First Two Pages February 23, 2016
  • Two Thumbs-Up For “Agnostic” February 10, 2016
Skip to toolbar
  • About WordPress
    • WordPress.org
    • Documentation
    • Support Forums
    • Feedback